The story in which everybody dies
by Dreamslayer
Summary: The title says it all.
1. 1: The first deaths

Chapter one  
  
The story in which everyone dies, except the killer (well, I'm not so sure about him, either.)  
  
A/N: I, Dreamslayer proudly present you my very first fic on the internet! I will not be responsible for anything I am responsible for. Be warned, though, for it is an everybody-bashing fic!  
  
Disclaimer: Nobody here owns Tekken.  
  
Jun Kazama is spending time at her place, since Kazuya's "busy", and so Jun, who's considered as a "good girl" dug out her porn magazine from underneath her pillow and started enjoying herself.  
  
Jun: oh, was that one BIG! And what about that one? Wow!  
  
Phone: *ringing*  
  
Jun: Hello?  
  
The mysterious caller (The Killer): Hi, what's your favorite porn movie?  
  
Jun: *Looking down at her magazine, blushing* I don't read or watch porno, I don't even visit porn sites!  
  
The Killer: Oh, but according to this list of mine, you're in the top ten visitors in a certain porn site.  
  
Jun:*hiding the magazine* Could it be some other Jun on that list of yours?  
  
The Killer: sniff Why is everybody trying to fool me?  
  
Jun: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fool you.  
  
The Killer: I KNEW it! I KNEW IT! *Dancing around Jun's front yard*  
  
Jun: Who exactly is this?  
  
The Killer: Hwo do you think this is?  
  
Jun: Lee, I've told I am not your call girl, and if you're feeling horny, go find one in a phonebook!  
  
The Killer: Whatever, I'll tell him that when I see him, but I am not Lee.  
  
Jun: Yeah, right, I'll style my hair like Heihachi, and run around wearing nothing else than diapers, if you're not Lee.  
  
The Killer: I AM NOT LEE! *farts* Aw, now look what you made me do!  
  
Jun: Well, if you're not Lee, then who are you?  
  
The Killer: You should not ask who, but where I am.  
  
Jun: So, where are you?  
  
The Killer: *Laughs evilly* I'm inside your house!  
  
Jun: Ah, have you been spying on me?!  
  
The Killer: Just ask where I am, goddamnit!  
  
Jun: Okay, okay. Where are you?  
  
The Killer: Listen, baby, I'm like a fart, I can be anywhere.  
  
Jun: *Stands up and looks around* Oh, yeah? Well, I think you're under my fine Persian carpet.  
  
The Killer: How on earth did you know?  
  
Jun: I can see your feet and your head. I can even see that stupid Teletubby mask of yours.  
  
The Killer: Aw, crap! *Gets up* Turn around, no peeking! *Goes behind Jun's lovely curtains* Bet you don't know where I am now!  
  
Jun: *Looks at the curtains and rolls her eyes* Oh, you're absolutely right, mister sexy, scary, raper serial killer! *Walks past the curtains*  
  
The Killer: I'll give you a hint! *comes out and trips* Aw, man, I really have to lay off the alcohol, man!  
  
Jun: *Runs into the dining room*  
  
The Killer: *Runs after her*  
  
Jun: *Runs behind the dining table* Blah! Ya can't catch me! *Sticks out her tongue*  
  
The Killer: Kiss my ass! *Runs around the table*  
  
Jun and The Killer: *Running around the table*  
  
Two hours later  
  
Jun and The Killer: *Still running*  
  
Phone: *rings*  
  
The Killer: Hello?  
  
The Caller: Hello. Jun there?  
  
The Killer: *Handing the phone to Jun* It's for you *Sits on a chair*  
  
Jun: Why, hello, Jin!  
  
After half an hour of constant gossiping on the phone  
  
The Killer: *Looking at his watch.* Hey, ho! *Tapping on the watch glass*  
  
Jun: Oh, honey, I've gotta go, Bye! Where were we? Oh, right *They go into running again*  
  
Jun: *looks back and slips into flood on the floor* Aieeee!*hits her head on the wall* Ouch! *hits a dresser* I've got a feeling I'm going to hurt a lot after this *flies down to the basement* Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, Exactly how many stairs are here, anyway? *Breaks her neck*.  
  
The Killer: *Turns on the lights* You okay?  
  
Jun: No, you idiot, I died!  
  
The Killer: Damn! I wanted to kill you!  
  
And so Jun Kazama, who was supposed to be murdered, only stylishly rolled down the stairs and broke both her neck and spine. But every single newspaper kept claiming the opposite, that she'd been brutally murdered. Pushed down the stairs and blah, blah, blah. When this news reached Heihachi, he called for most of the Tekken for some unknown reason. This includes Jin, Forest (Jungle) Law, Christie, Hwoarang, Baek, Anna, Nina, Xiaoyu, Lee, Bryan, King, Kazuya, Julia, Bruce, Lei, Eddy and Paul.  
  
Heihachi: Surely you all know why we are here today. *crosses his arms over his chest*  
  
Lei: Not really. Why are we here?  
  
Julia: You mean You haven't heard?  
  
Hwoarang: Heard what?  
  
Eddy: Jun was raped yesterday. No, wait, that's murdered *thinking, because he's just a bear with really small brain*  
  
Dreamslayer: Hey, guess what?  
  
Paul: What?  
  
Dreamslayer: Do you know what you get when you cross-breed Lee and Bruce?  
  
Anna: A gay?  
  
Dreamslayer: No, Bruce Lee! Get it? Bruce and Lee..  
  
Kazuya: Jesus, girl, Even Marduk can't stand you! In fact even Snake Edge can't stand you all the time  
  
Dreamslayer: Hey I happen to like Bruce Lee!  
  
Heihachi: Then You must like Law, too.  
  
Law: *Seemingly insulted* How come?!  
  
Bruce: Face it, you're a copy of Bruce Lee.  
  
Law: I am not!  
  
Bryan: Oh, yes you are!  
  
Law: Am not!  
  
Bruce Lee: Are too!  
  
Law: Am not! Hey!  
  
Heihachi: *Farts very loudly indeed* Listen to what I have to say!  
  
Everybody:*Staring at Heihachi with those big anime eyes*  
  
Heihachi: couch The murder of Jun has shocked all of us, right?  
  
Everybody: *Nods*  
  
Heihachi: I thought about it and came to the realisation that we've been left no other options than.  
  
Nina: Tar and feather the murderer!  
  
Heihachi: That's not exactly what I had in mind.  
  
Nina: Aw.  
  
Xiaoyu: What did you have in mind, then?  
  
Heihachi: I was going to suggest that we'd go to this big summer house of mine. We oughta be safe there.  
  
Jin: *wakes up* Can we go now?  
  
Heihachi: You may go.  
  
Everybody: *Rush out from the room*  
  
Hours later, in Julia's Back yard  
  
Julia: *Singing while cropping her. y' know, crops* Ricky will not admit it That he likes men best of all I heard someone mention That no girl's gonna touch his balls.  
  
The Killer: *Sneaks up to Julia* How'd you like to die? Should I cut your head off? Should I stab you to death or should I rape you? Would you like that? You may choose.  
  
Julia: *stands up.* I want a fair fight! I'm challenging you in a mortal combat!  
  
The Killer: *pulls the script out of nowhere* Hey, this isn't a part of the script! *glances at Julia* A mortal combat?  
  
Julia: *Shrugs* Don't look at me, it says so in my script, see? *shows her script to The Killer* Dreamslayer: Sorry, I forgot to give you the latest version of the script. *The latest version falls from the heavens*  
  
The Killer: *picks up the NEW script and reads through the scene* Better. Let's get started.  
  
Julia: *Places her hand over her heart and looks up to the sky* Spirits, give me strength!  
  
Spirits: *Appear above Julia in the form of a black cloud and a lightning strikes Julia*  
  
Julia: *Falls to the ground*Thank you Spirits! *Dies.*  
  
Spirits: Always wanted to do that.  
  
The Killer: Hey, That definitely wasn't part of the script!  
  
Dreamslayer: You're right, I just made it up.  
  
The Killer: Authors! They can't do anything right! *Starts walking away and trips on his cloak, or whatever it is* Damnit!  
  
"Another shocking murder committed!" said the news  
  
Heihachi: *Shows people the day's newspaper, which tells of Julia's murder.* Yet another one of us is dead! I've had enough! I'm going to live in a monastery and leave my sexual life behind!  
  
Kazuya: *Looks at Heihachi funny* You did the latter a long time ago.  
  
Heihachi: *Smiling at Kazuya* Of course I. Why you little! *Attacks Kazuya*  
  
King: I'm taking bets!  
  
Xiaoyu: *Handing King a hundred.* A hundred on Kazuya!!  
  
Eddy: A hundred on Kazuya!  
  
Lei: I don't see any reason why I shouldn't bet on Kazuya too.!* Handing King a fifty.*  
  
Jin: I'm betting a hundred on Grampa!  
  
Everybody: *Stares at Jin.*  
  
Jin: What? It's not a bet if everybody bets on Kazyua!  
  
Jun: Two hundred on Kazuya!! *Handing King the money.*  
  
King: Jun, no offence, but weren't you supposed to be dead?  
  
Jun: Aw! *Reading through the script* Oh, you are absolutely right, I am supposed to be dead.*Drops dead*  
  
Lee: Eww! Take the dead woman away!  
  
Paul: Okay. *Takes Jun away and comes back.* Nothing like a good workout!  
  
Mysterious voice: EEEKKK!  
  
Law: Paul, where did you take the dead woman?  
  
Paul: Home of the aged.  
  
Christie: Paul!  
  
Paul: What? It was the closest place!  
  
Christie: Well take it somewhere else! My salary's gonna go down if there are dead people in there!  
  
Hwoarang: You're working in the home of the aged?  
  
Christie: *Blushing* Uh, yeah. I'm doing a strip-tease show in there.  
  
Heihachi: *Lets go of Kazuya's head* When is your next show?  
  
Paul: Is anybody listening to me?  
  
Everybody: *Staring at Paul* Yeees?  
  
Paul: Where am I going to put her? *Pointing at Jun's corpse on the floor*  
  
Baek: Let's bury her in Bryan's grave!  
  
Bryan: Ain't gonna happen!  
  
Bruce: Why not?  
  
Bryan: I don't have one.  
  
Kazuya: Whadayamean you don't have one?  
  
Lee: Every dead guy should have a grave and tombstone of their own.  
  
Bryan: Well I don't! Get over it!  
  
Nina: Well what happened to them?  
  
Bryan: I actually sold them a couple of weeks ago.  
  
Anna: Why?  
  
Bryan: You see, I needed money for the hookers.  
  
Nina: *purring* Oh, but Bryan, you know we are always available for free!  
  
Anna: *In a sweet tone.*My thoughts exactly.  
  
Bryan: I must confess that your invitation is very tempting, but I am not Bruce!  
  
Nina&Anna: Wait, didn't he just say.?  
  
Heihachi: That's not of importance. Do you even remember what we planned during the last time we spoke?  
  
Hwoarang: We were going to have a party in the toilet.  
  
Heihachi: *Smiling nicely* Good, I'm impressed you remembered all that.  
  
Hwoarang: *Moved* Why thank you.  
  
Heihachi: YOU IDIOT! We were planning to escape this supposed rampage of the supposed murderer in my summer house!  
  
Xiaoyu: Well then let's go! *Already leaving*  
  
Heihachi: Hold it! Hold it! I'm the boss! I say when we go!.  
  
A silence that lasts approximately 5 minutes from Heihachi's words to the moment Lei farted.  
  
Heihachi: Okay, let's go.  
  
  
  
The song Julia's singing: Livin' La Vida Homo  
  
So there! Liked it? My thanks to my friend Snake Edge, who Translated it into English, since I'm not too good with it, so every flame of the spelling can be directed to her. She also gave me some WAY too kinky ideas to be used. I have to confess that I am a bit afraid of people who will probably be wanting to kill me, but it won't stop me from continuing the story. R&R, people! And let me know which part you liked.  
  
Snake Edge: If you ask me, it was a lot like Scary Movie.  
  
Dreamslayer: *Hits SE with a silver cyclone* Yo, ho! Never, ever insult my writing!  
  
Snake Edge: *slides to the Hitman stance* Bring it on!  
  
Dreamslayer: You got it, missy! *Executes a sunset fan and goes into Art of Phoenix*  
  
And so begins the new day of fighting.  
  
(We really do argue occasionally, but mostly in school, and we can't really do most of the moves of Tekken, the bitch slaps are easily executed) 


	2. 2: The bus of doom

The story in which everyone dies, except the killer  
  
Chapter Two  
  
Disclaimer: Nobody here owns Tekken.  
  
Dreamslayer: *narrating* The whole gang is standing outside at a bus stop and if you readers are wondering why, the truth is, I don't know either. I guess they're Dorks, since the script very clearly says that they have to fight, and then.  
  
Snake Edge: Shut the fuck up already! They don't have the patience to listen your crappy narrate. Just get on with the damn story already!  
  
Dreamslayer: Very well. Hey Snake Edge, you won't get away so easily, you know. I'll challenge you after I'm done writing this chapter.  
  
Snake Edge: *Slaps Dreamslayer across the face with a glove* I accept.  
  
Dreamslayer: *promises* This story will launch in no time. I'll just beat Snake Edge up first. *slaps Snake Edge with a leather glove* Ha!  
  
---  
  
Lee: *Tapping Heihachi on the shoulder* Uh, dad, Have you thought about how are we going to get to your summer house?  
  
Heihachi: Of course I've thought about it, and don't call me dad, Lee! *Spanks Lee a la Tekken Tag Tournament. Just like the old times*  
  
Lee: ouch, ouch, ouch... Okay, now I feel fine.  
  
Heihachi: Yuck! *Throws Lee on the asphalt*  
  
King: Er, if you've really thought about it, how exactly are we going to get to your summer house?  
  
Heihachi: Beats me. *shrugs*  
  
Kazuya: That's my dad for you. He can't tell the difference between shit and crap. I wish there were a bus, But it's Sunday, so there won't be any around here.  
  
And as if Kazuya's prayers were answered, a bus drove to the bus stop and it ran Lei over while coming.  
  
Lei: I'm dying!  
  
Xiaoyu: Who cares?  
  
The Bus: I care. My tires are all covered with blood.  
  
Hwoarang: Did I just hear the Bus talk?  
  
Anna: *slaps Hwoarang* Get into the bus!  
  
Hwoarang: I can't. The doors are tight shut.  
  
Eddy: Hey, what gives?!  
  
Paul: Whatever's stuck up your ass! Get it? Eddy's ass? Hahaha!  
  
Nina: Yeah, hahahaa...Paul?  
  
Paul: Yeah, Baby?  
  
Nina: You're an idiot!  
  
Paul: Oh, why thank you.  
  
The Killer: *hiding in a bush* That crappy pink bus just killed Lei, I wanted to kill Lei! *Hitting his head on the wall repeatedly* (Snake Edge: A dumb place to put a wall, really)  
  
The Bus: Password, please?  
  
Hwoarang: What?!  
  
The Bus: Password! What a jerk!  
  
Hwoarang: Password?? *Gesturing helplessly with his hands*  
  
Christie: *Pushes Hwoarang aside* Oh, move over! *Pulls a broken stick out of her pocket and points it at the bus door* Alohomora!  
  
Nothing happens.  
  
Everybody: *staring at Christie* O_O  
  
Christie: *muttering* Well it worked for Harry Potter.  
  
The Bus: Password?  
  
Percy: Make way, make way! A prefect coming!  
  
Everybody: *make way for Percy*  
  
Percy: *steps in front of the Bus door*  
  
Forest: Yo, what's he doin' here? Don't he belong in Harry Potter?  
  
King: I think Dreamslayer has a few loose bolts. This story doesn't make any sense. I believe the readers agree with me. I'm going to strike!  
  
Xiaoyu: For what?  
  
King: I want a raise!  
  
Eddy: We get paid?!  
  
Dreamslayer: Hell no! What do you think I am, crazy?  
  
Jin: Crazy pretty much sums it up, yeah.  
  
Dreamslayer: Oh, shut the fuck up, Helluva Ugly.  
  
Lee: Why are you striking? You don't have a reason to go to strike.  
  
King: I'm protecting defenceless oranges. There you have my reason for strike! *sits down*  
  
Lee: Whatever. Michelle: You can't go to strike, because if you do...  
  
Dreamslayer: .If you do, I'm going to beat the living crap out of you!  
  
Michelle: I was actually going to say he's blocking the sidewalk.  
  
Dreamslayer: Oh, my mistake!  
  
King: *Gets up*  
  
Percy: I you would now kindly pay attention to me, the password is Kaput Heihachi!  
  
Heihachi: Racists!  
  
Percy: Whatever do you mean?  
  
Heihachi: Never mind.  
  
The Bus: *doors open*  
  
Percy: *Disapparates*  
  
Hwoarang: *Gets into the bus*  
  
Snake Edge: Welcome to Dreamslayer and Snake Edge's road express. Where would you like to go? I take the money and Dreamslayer drives.  
  
Bryan: Okay, I'm really scared now!  
  
Baek: Oooo, don't wet yourself, man.  
  
Bryan: Screw you guys, I'm going to sleep!  
  
Snake Edge: *Stops Bryan* Just a minute young man, you forgot something.  
  
Bryan: Like what?  
  
Snake Edge: *auntie-like* Like payment, and don't you talk to me like that, mister.  
  
Bryan: *Fishing through his pockets* There, keep the exchange. Everybody except  
  
Heihachi: *Take a nice position in their seats and try to fall asleep*  
  
Heihachi: *Explaining Dreamslayer where exactly his summerhouse is located*  
  
Dreamslayer: Oh, I get it!  
  
Tarzan: *pointing at himself* Tarzan. *points at Dreamslayer* Oh, I get it!  
  
Dreamslayer: Nonono! *points at herself* Dreamslayer. * points at Tarzan* Tarzan. *  
  
Snake Edge: Oh, bugger off! We don't need no apes other than Paul here! *kicks Tarzan in the ass*  
  
Tarzan: *flies out of the bus*  
  
Heihachi: *goes to his seat and tries to fall asleep like everyone else*  
  
Dreamslayer: Hey, Snake Edge! Put Children of Bodom on!  
  
Snake Edge: Okay! *Says it like Julia, salutes and puts a CD in the player*  
  
Children of Bodom: The Reaper is calling you to come home With the thrust of a switchblade on the grip of madman And the waters of Bodom turn a blood shade of red As the Children Of Bodom take their last breath.  
  
Everobdy: *wake up because of the noise and cover their ears*  
  
Michelle: Bah! What a racket! The dead would be rolling in their graves if they heard that music, if you can call that music!  
  
Bryan: Hey! I'm dead!  
  
Michelle: Glad you noticed.  
  
Bruce: But you ain't got no grave.  
  
Bryan: No, I don't but I can roll in my seat.  
  
Heihachi: Why, oh why do every clumsy, brainless idiots come to me?  
  
Kazuya: 'Cuz you're like them, just a lot clumsier!  
  
Anna: *screams* Can the fucking racket!  
  
Dreamslayer & Snake Edge: Never! Nina: Very well, I'll just shoot it then. *Takes out her gun*  
  
Baek: Nina's the worst assassin ever. I bet she's going to shoot through every possible hole and then hit the front glass, and then she'll hit some deer and then.  
  
Christie: *puts an apple in Baeks mouth and kicks him* Shaddap, no one's listening!  
  
Baek: *Eating the apple*  
  
Snake Edge: Hey, peace, people, I'l turn it off! *turns the music off* See?  
  
Everybody: *nod and fall asleep*  
Half an hour later.  
  
Dreamslayer: Hey everybody, look!!  
  
Everybody: *wake up and look at Dreamslayer, horrified*  
  
Dreamslayer: *Smiling* No hands! *waves at the Tekken crew*  
  
Eddy: Don't try and scare the shit out of us, drive the damn bus!  
  
The Bus: *In the middle of a highway* lalalalala....  
  
Bryan: NOW I'm really scared! *grabs Hwoarang's shirt*  
  
Hwoarang: Did you?...  
  
Bryan: *looks at Hwoarang with big anime eyes*  
  
Hwoarang: Oh God, don't say.  
  
Bryan: *nods* (Snake Edge: What did I miss here?)  
  
Xiaoyu: What'd Bryan do?  
  
Hwoarang: He was so scred he p-  
  
Xiaoyu: Heihachi!  
  
Heihachi: *turns to look at Xiaouy* What?  
  
Xiaoyu: Say, you have any spare diapers to lend Bryan? He just wet himself! (Snake Edge: Oh, god)  
  
Nina: I thought something smelled like piss 'round here.  
  
Dreamslayer: Alright, the end of the line! *Throws everyone out of the bus*  
  
Heihachi: All right, let's go inside!  
  
Everybody: *follow Heihachi*  
Well then, let's see what The Killer is up to right now.  
  
The Killer: *Riding a tricycle* That bus will have to stop eventually, and when it does...  
  
---  
  
Dreamslayer: What was all that?  
  
Snake Edge: What was what?  
  
Dreamslayer: Those additional comments you put in while translating.  
  
Snake Edge: Comments? What comments? * slowly inches away from Dreamslayer*  
  
Dreamslayer: Oh, no you don't! *Attacks with Heaven Divide*  
  
Snake Edge: *Gets hit, responds with a Complicated wire* 


	3. 3: More Victims

Jin: Er, Grampa...

Heihachi: What is it, Jin?

Jin: Where's the bathroom??

Nina: I think it's over there *pointing at a certain door*

Anna: Sure, she'd know. She's probably been sleeping with old Hachi for years.*grinning at Nina in a fiendish manner*

Nina: Fucking whorebitchwench! I'll kill you! *Grabs Anna's throat*

Everybody: *staring at Nina in terror, with the exception of Jin, who hid in the bathroom*

Jin: Ha, I'll be safe here.

Mysterious voice: That's what you think! *makes a maniacal monkey giggle*Whoomyuhauwuffooo!!!

Jin: Somebody's gone bananas big time. *sits on the toilet seat*

Nina: What? No, you don't thin I would have?!

Anna: *Frees herself of Nina's hands* Run for your lives! Nina is aAssassin, not to mention a raper! She'll kill and rape us all!

Everybody except Nina: *run into the kitchen and Heihachi locks the door*

Eddy: I think we're safe now. 

Bruce: A question.

Heihachi: What?

Law: Where's Kazzy-boy?

Kazyua: *Pounding on the kitchen door* You fucking bastards! Open up already! Nina's gonna kill and rape me!

Heihachi: How will we KNOW you are really Kazuya? 

Bryan: Yeah, how? Give a flash and maybe someone'll recognize you. (Snake Edge: Sigh...sometimes I feel like she's doing this on purpose...)

Kazyua: Bryan, unlike SOMEONE we both know, I am not gay, and I sure as hell ain't gonna start stripping here!

Xiaoyu: *looking at Bryan* You're gay?!

Bryan: I'd rather not discuss it...(SE: see what I mean?)

Everybody: *stare at Bryan with big, big, BIG anime eyes*

Bryan: Oh, all right! I'm bi! You fucking happy now?!?

Christie: Very.

Kazuya: Hey, What about me? AAAAAGH!!! *Voice trails off *

~After an hour of exceptionally shocked and unnerving silence~

Paul: I think he kicked the bucket.

Baek: Oh, but I wanted to shag him...

Everybody: *Looking at Baek funny*

Baek: Uh... What I MEANT to say was...

Let's go and check on Jin, who's in the bathroom, reading the Princess-magazine (a little girls' magazine)

Jin: Trallallallalaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

Toilet Seat: *trembling*

Jin: Thissssssss feelsssssssss goodddddddd!!!

Toilet Seat: *blows up with a big ass BOOOM*

Jin: *flies high in the air* Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!(Dreamslayer: What a way to go!^_^)

Then we'll get back to the kitchen...

Michelle: Hey everybody! Look at what I found!*waving a matchbox around* 

Xiaoyu: *Turns around, excited* Is it a dildo??

King: It looks like a perfectly normal matchbox to me.

Anna: Morons! It _is_ a perfectly normal matchbox!!

Lee: What do you knowt?!

Anna: How dare you?!*raises her hand into slap position*

Lee: *Grabs anna by her hand and takes one of her gloves off* I got it! I got it! *Throws the glove towards the window*

Bruce: You idiotic rum barrel! The window's closed!.

Lee: Oopsie! *blushes*

Christie: *Opens the window and throws anna's glove outside* 

Anna: Eeekh! My glove! My beautiful, horribly expensive glove is somewhere out there for every Kuma to rape! (SE: Hey, don't look at me, it's Dreamslayer who wrote it)

Everybody: *Laughing at Anna* 

Anna: How dare you laugh at me, you incompetent idiots? *strodes her nose up towards the kitchen door and bumbs into it* Ouch! Okay, who put that in there? I think I broke my nose and that's all your fault!! *opens the door and slams it shut* 

Everybody: *go to the window and look out to see Anna* 

Anna: Here, glove, glove, glove! Heeere glove, glove, glove!

Paul: She's completely and utterly nuts! I always knew brunettes were weird.

Law: And I always knew blonds were stupid.

Paul: That's the spirit, Law old boy! *hugs Law*     

Hwoarang: You guys are boring me. *shoots a small rock with his slingshot at an unknown target*

Small rock: *hits the lamp, which explodes*

Heihachi: Great, Mick(Hworang) Just great! Now we'll have to sit around here in the dark!

Michelle: *sobbing in a corner for some reason, striking matches* A bottle o' Vodka, *Match blows out* *lights another one* A bottle o' Vodka, *Match blows out* *lights yet another one* A bottle o' Vodka…*Match blows out*..Ganryu...Oh, Shit Ganryu!! *the match burns her fingers*

Outside.

Anna: *Hopping around in the bushes, looking for her glove*

The Killer: Come closer, come closer *hiding in a bush* Hello, what's this now?*picks up Anna's glove and sniffs it* 

Anna: *notices the Killer with her glove* Oh, thank you, young man *takes her glove and sees the scythe in The Killer's hand* Help! *Takes off running, but her dress gets caught into a branch of a nearby tree and rips*

The Killer: O_O Free porn!

Anna: *looks at her ruined dress in shock and starts to panick*Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeh!

The Killer: *Covers his ears* OMG!

2 hours later.

Anna: *still screaming*

The Killer: *gets annoyed* Shut the fuck up you fucking cow!

Anna: *Looks at The Killer, shocked and sticks out her tongue* Go to hell! *starts walking away*

The Killer: *shrugs, throws his scythe over his shoulder. The scythe hits Anna* Wow! I killer 'er! I killed 'er! *jumps in joy*

Anna: *gets up* Bleh! You missed me! *falls into an underground pit, breaking her neck*      

 The Killer: Well, I _almost_ killed 'er. *sighs, goes back into the woods*

A couple more of hours later

King: It's been extraordinarily quiet for the past few hours

Christie: *stomach rumbles* Sorry.

Lee: I don't know about you guys, but I've had enough of hiding inside with a bunch of unintelligent people. I'm going out!

Bryan: Lee, I'll come with you.

Paul: Dressed like that?

Bryan: What's wrong with a red fluffy sweater, white, admittely overbaggy pants with red spots on them, fluffy red mittens and yellow fluffy hat? (Snake Edge: Awww... She made him dress up like Seung Ho. ^_^)

Xiaoyu: nothing (hehe) Ab -absolutely no -nothing! Hehehehe!

Heihachi: Well, everybody, we might as well go and take a little walk around the building, since there doesn't appear to be anyone too bloodthirsty around.


	4. 4: Something unexpected

The Story In Which Everybody Dies, Except The Killer  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Standard disclaimer applies  
  
Translator's note: I was wondering whether or not I should translate the name "Syksy", but then I figured, since Winter's name (Winter is the lil bro of Syksy) was already in English, I'd call Syksy what he'd been in the original version. The word syksy means autumn. You don't have to get alarmed, she once named a character "Appelsiini" which means "orange", as in the fruit orange.  
  
SE: glancing around warily anyone seen Dreamslayer for a long time? I'm getting nervous, 'cause it's not like her to.. No, wait it's just like her, but still, I haven't heard of her for the longest time . Deep silence SE: Apparently no, and it also seems I'm talking to myself now. smiling in a very painful-looking way But, my beloved firends, let's not let the absence of that lunatic depress us. It's a good thing she's not here, right?  
  
Somewhere not too far there are voices to be heard.  
  
Someone: Copycat! Someone 2#: I'm nyaaaaaat! Dreamslayer: Syksy, just shut up and don't call your little brother a copycat! SE: What the...? Was that Dreamslayer? Or am I just hearing things? Dreamslayer: Crawls out of a bush dragging two young men with him; one of them with blue hair and the other pink-haired I don't think you were hearing things.. Syksy here was picking on his little brother again Wrinkles her nose in disapproval, hen she suddenly realizes the spotlight is on her again Oh, fuck!, See ya! SE: Tackles Dreamslayer You're not going anywhere, you have a story to finish growl Dreamslayer: Do I have to? notices Snake Edge's lethal glare Okay, fine! Let's get it started then.  
  
Inside.  
  
Xiaoyu: Climbs upstairs, as she is the only one who decided to stay indoors while everyone else went out I could have sworn I saw a children's playroom somewhere here... mutters, randomly opening doors, until at last she finds the room in question I knew it! dashes to the dollhouse and starts to play with it  
  
The Killer, after noticing Xiaoyu being alone in the house had silently crept upstairs.  
  
Xiaoyu: Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb. Mary had a little lamb and it was raaabiiid! sees a doll in an unopened package and reads the warning on it aloud Not suitable for children under 3 years of age, may contain small pieces. The Killer: almost giggling out of sheer happines pulls a pig mask oven his face At last I get to kill someone! nears Xiaoyu ready to strike Xiaoyu: shrugs, opens the package and bites a small part off the doll Hfelp! coughes until she dies of suffocation The Killer: watches as Xiaou fall down, dead This is so unfair! throws his scythe out of the window and starts to stomp his foot on the ground  
  
Outside.  
  
Hwoarang: Hey, look everybody, it's an aeroplane! pointing at The Killer's flying scythe as it hits a tree and is driven partly into it Law: Idiot, that's not an aeroplane, that's a scythe! kicks the tree, causing the scythe to fall off and cut him in half Everyone except Eddy: Well that was the end of him. Eddy: The end of who? Bruce: The wnd of Law, of course. Eddy: Yay! Bring out the bad guys! Everybody: staring at Eddy WTF? Eddy: blush I think it'd be better if you didn't even try to understand. Lee: We're not, trust me notices a pit with Anna dead at the bottom Hm, seems like we found the grave of that bitch, too. Heihachi: The grave of who? Lee: That Pamela Anna woman.  
  
Dreamslayer: scratching her head This is not fucking working. SE: I should hope it wasn't supposed to fuck anything. Dreamslayer: Hahaha, reeal funny, pal. I'm thinking of ending the whole story, it's getting annoying more than anything.  
  
Bryan: Yea, go ahead and quit, that way the rest of us might actually get home someday. Hwoarang: That's a great idea, dear. practically purring next to Bryan  
  
Dreamslayer: That's it! jumps in and kicks Hwoarang in the head Everybody: Looking at Dreamslayer, shocked and then turning their gaze to the very dead Hwoaranga Baek: Y-you killed him! Dreamslayer: So? I could kill you too, if you'd like. King: Crawl for your lives! Kaikki: crawling away from Dreamslayer and hiding in the most obvious places Dreamslayer: muttering Gullible fools.  
  
Bryan: hides in a little hidden cave, sighing in relief That was a close one, wasnt' it, Mr. Spider? takes another look at the gigantic spiden on his forearm and begins to scream A spider! Dies of horror(SE: WTF? He had arachnophobia?)  
  
Dreamslayer: sleeping on Syksy and his little brother SE: Oi. Syksy: Whatcha lookin' at? SE: I'm not lookin at anything. I only said "oi" by the way, what's up with her? Syksy: She's got a headache. Don't wake 'er up, it took 'er forever to fall asleep, she's got slight problems with Insomnia and somniphobia. SE: Don't we all. Muttering, settling to sleep on the still lifeless body of Bryan Hopefully that spider went away. 


End file.
